Dear Parents,
This month in character class we have been talking about RESPECT. I found this excellent article about the role it plays in parenting and thought it would be beneficial for you all. Have a wonderful New Year.
Angela M. Rowe, M.Ed., Ed.S., LPC, NBCT
Pair Elementary School Counselor
Positive parenting balances nurturing, discipline and respect
Positive parenting starts with a balance of nurturing, discipline and respect. But how parents balance these elements varies, says Ron Pitzer, family sociologist with the University of Minnesota Extension Service.
"Some parents are demanding and expect a great deal of their child, while others are permissive and demand very little," Pitzer says. There are also parents who limit their youngster's behavior and allow little or no freedom of thought and expression.
At least four distinct parenting styles are created, depending on the balance:
--Parents who nurture, discipline and respect their children are positive.
--Parents who nurture and respect their children but don't discipline them much or well are permissive.
--Parents who discipline their children but are not very nurturing or respectful of them are dominating.
--Parents who don't nurture, discipline or respect their children are unengaged.
A research study shows how children raised with these differing parenting styles are affected. The study examined self-esteem, confidence, respect, responsibility, academics, social competence, anxiety, depression and problem behavior.
The study showed that children raised by positive parents tend to do well overall, Pitzer says. They have self-esteem and confidence, are respectful and responsible, and show good academic performance. These children are socially competent as defined by having empathy, emotional control, good communication and ability to manage conflict. Such children have little anxiety or depression and don't have much problem behavior.
Children and teens raised by permissive parents tend to have good self-esteem, are socially competent in most areas and have little depression. However, Pitzer says they scored low on respect and responsibility, underachieve academically and have a lot of problem behavior.
Children raised by dominating parents are somewhat the opposite. They tend to have low self-esteem and confidence and a lot of anxiety and depression. These children are not very socially competent, rate in the middle on being respectful and responsible and have average academic performance. They have very little problem behavior.
Children and teens of unengaged parents tend to do the worst in all of the areas studied. They have low self-esteem and confidence, a lot of anxiety and depression, and little social competence. They are not respectful or responsible, have poor academic performance and show a lot of problem behavior.
"As this study clearly shows, the balanced approach of nurturing, disciplining and respecting children is where positive parenting begins," Pitzer says. More information on positive parenting is available at www.extension.umn.edu, or at a county office of the University of Minnesota Extension Service.
Source: Ron Pitzer (612) 625-8169, rpitzer@umn.edu
Writer: Jack Sperbeck (612) 625-1794, sperb001@umn.edu